One of my co-workers recently asked, (once again!), \u201cWhy don\u2019t you write a nice column?\u201d Well!\u00a0I kinda thought all my columns were \u201cnice.\u201d\u00a0 Sure. I understand a good number of people don\u2019t necessarily agree with me on a whole bunch of topics, but ... that\u2019s what it\u2019s all about in these United States. I may think differently than you on some political issue, but odds are we all enjoy a good chocolate malt at the DQ or the Old Pioneer Store.\u00a0 And there is at least one issue I\u2019m dealing with of which I\u2019m sure a lot of people \u2014 both conservative and liberal, Republican and Democrat \u2014\u00a0will sympathize. Deer. I\u2019m really getting tired of deer. Don\u2019t get me wrong. I like deer. I really do. They\u2019re cute in a \u201cI love nature\u201d kind of way. Deer are pretty animals. To a degree, they\u2019re fun to watch. After cleaning up the devastation of having 14 trees removed from our front, side, and back yard, we have quite a large expanse of lawn. One deer mama and her two fawns love\/loved to romp and frolic on our lawn and it is quite sweet. (Sadly, the \u201ctwo fawns\u201d recently became \u201cher one fawn\u201d when one of \u2018em DID NOT look left and right while crossing McKinley Road and became what is colloquially referred to as \u201ccrow bait.\u201d) Nevertheless, mama and her now-one fawn continue to frolic. It\u2019s too cute. Then, a short while back, just after dark and just after my planting of a whole bunch of hostas, I swear I heard deer-ish voices outside exclaiming excitement over the change in menu at the Crees buffet. And that kinda started everything rolling. The deer have been chewing on everything I\u2019ve planted. EVERYTHING! They chomped on a good portion of my one, single pumpkin vine. They have severely cropped my zucchini. They pulled out some 20 asparagus plants, (just pulled \u2018em out but didn\u2019t actually eat them!) They have even trimmed my tomato plants. Not the fruit. The plant itself. Nibbled from the top down. (So much for my belief that deer don\u2019t go after tomatoes.) Then ... they move from the vegetable course to the dessert bar \u2014 the decorative gardens. The hostas are nothing but a bitter memory. The critters wiped out a good-sized flowering dogwood. The impatiens? Forget about it. Gone. Almost everything I\u2019ve planted - perennials and annuals \u2014 has at least been nibbled on, if not flat out eaten. Everything. I pulled a list of deer resistant plants off the Internet. I have to wonder if deer have Internet access and know there is a list of deer resistant plants? It seems everything they have eaten, (except the hostas), falls on the \u201cRarely If Ever Damaged\u201d list. Rarely damaged? Everything I\u2019ve put in the ground, (aside from the marigolds), has been instantaneously damaged. So ... I enthusiastically enter the fray. I determined I would win this fight. I bought anti-deer pellets, anti-deer sprinkles AND anti-deer spray using all liberally. I think the deer enjoyed the spicy addition to their menu! I moved on to home-made recommendations involving garlic and cayenne pepper with stinky eggs in varying degrees and amounts. The deer called their friends to try the new taste sensations! I put up a silly rope fence. (Do you have any idea how much proper fencing costs??!!??)\u00a0I swear I could hear the deer chuckling in the dark! (I did fence in my pumpkin plant. It apparently has helped, although Heaven help any vine or tendril that snuck out beyond the fence. It was gone before daybreak.) I tried twirling whirligigs. I tried sparkly tin-foily streamers. I tried everything folks told me to try. Nothing worked. I\u2019m sure the folks in the neighborhood across the road are pleased with my gardening efforts. My yard simply has become an effective \u201cRest Area\u201d for deer crossing over to their yards for a midnight snack, probably saving at least some of their gardens from the damage I myself am experiencing. They, the deer, are killing me! And ... truth be known ... they are winning. Aside from the marigolds and the stuff planted right next to the back door, almost everything else has been damaged to a lesser or greater degree. It is frustrating, and disappointing.\u00a0But it also is a lesson in the way things really work. At the end of the day, it is their world \u2014 the critters. Especially if you live anywhere even mildly country-esque. We have mice and garter snakes. We have deer in the garden, raccoons in the garage and the garbage can. We have skunks strolling down the driveway. And ... we have coyote scat back in the woods. They will win. I promise you. The critters will win. In the meantime, I\u2019ll try to adjust \u2018cause I\u2019ve learned I\u2019m certainly not going to win the deer fight.