WHITNEY: This week’s non sequiturs of motherhood
Writing weekly about my life as a mom is not always easy.
Not because there isn’t always something to write about. I am never at a loss for something to say, when it comes to parenting or anything else.
But sometimes, I don’t have hundreds of words worth of thoughts on any particular subject. I can’t make a column out of every idea I have. And let’s be real: I’m not exactly brimming with self-confidence in my parenting abilities.
So this week, I present you with something a little different. During the past couple weeks, I’ve jotted down random thoughts that I couldn’t quite stretch into a full column. Here’s a bunch of non sequiturs about my weird kid for some easy weekend reading.
- The most on-brand-2015-mom thought I had recently was this: I’m really going to need a beer after I finish cleaning all this quinoa out of the car seat.
- There are a lot of chores left undone and meals are looking a little more thrown together at our house these days because we bid adieu to our dear friend “nap time” last week. Things haven’t been the same since. Time hurdles past us like a freight train, and I’m really missing my midday break. Before I know it, dad is home, it’s time for dinner and an after-dinner walk. Did I accomplish anything today, I’m left wondering. The days are messed up, but bedtime is exhaustedly blissful. Worth it.
- Speaking of big changes, we’re working on the whole potty training ordeal and it’s going horribly. Olivia got fed up with the whole thing and, in protest, hid the training potty behind the couch. She then told me it “got lost.” “Can’t find it.” So there’s that. I get emails from readers every once in a blue moon (thanks to those of you who write!), but I’ve never gotten responses when I’ve actually asked for them. Still, I’m going to try again. If you have any awesome potty training advice, I’d love to hear it. Email me at email@example.com. If I get a few good ones, I’ll reprint them here so we can share in the wealth of information.
- Another big change: We shaved our long-hair cat. It was tragic but necessary, but there’s been an unexpected bonus. Our daughter and Penny the cat previously had a bit of a “sibling rivalry.” Penny takes Olivia’s toys, Olivia yells at Penny, and so on. Now Olivia thinks she has a pet lion, and she’s lavishing the poor cat with constant attention. Win column?
- Olivia’s favorite adjective is melted. Everything right now is melted, but not how you might think. Weeping willows, for example, are melted trees. “There are some melted trees at the river park,” she explains. Dogs with floppy ears have melted ears. Mom’s tomatoes — which she keeps telling everyone are “not lookin’ so good” — are also melted. She explains the idea of melted trees by pulling her hair in front of her eyes, sagging her shoulders and neck, saying, “Some trees are melted, like this,” and making a frown with droopy eyelids. Brilliant.
- When she’s in the best of moods, Olivia will lean in to my shoulder and say, unprompted, “I love you too.” It’s probably just a misunderstanding on her part about how the exchange works. Maybe she doesn’t get that the “too” part is in the response. But I like to think she knows so well that she’s loved by mom and dad that she simply takes it as granted without me saying so first. I love you too, little girl.
Whitney Gronski-Buffa is the Pioneer’s parenting columnist. After four years reporting and editing at the paper, she’s stepped back to spend more time with her family. Read more here each week and reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org.