MASSMAN: The three words that changed me

“Babies are drawn to me and I think it's because they see me as one of them, but, cooler, and with my life put together a little bit.” — Michael Scott, The Office

As the years go by, planning and preparing are two things I’ve gotten much better at.

But, there are just some things in life — regardless of all the planning you do — that are still hard to prepare for.

The day for me was Feb. 1, 2022.

Let’s rewind five months ago …

One October morning, my wife, Sarah, came home — around 8 a.m. — from her shift as a registered nurse at Butterworth Hospital in Grand Rapids. It was a routine morning. She came home and quickly hopped in the shower as I sat at my desk working. 

She later opened the bathroom door and calmly asked me to come look at something. I walked in and quickly knew what I was looking at.

However, the first words to come out of my mouth were, “Where did you pee on this stick?”

Yes, you read that correctly. That was my initial statement when finding out my wife was pregnant. In the ensuring moments, I began to celebrate and needed to learn to keep a secret for a few weeks.

We slowly started telling friends and family. (And yes, they have already started buying gifts). 

Fast forward to Feb. 1. We were finally going to learn the answer to the question everyone has been asking: Is it a boy or a girl?

We got to the hospital and were put in a private room. The nurse technician came in and slowly got to work. What felt like hours, was only a matter of minutes.

“Are you ready to find out?” she asked us.

“Yes. Let’s go,” I replied, sitting back in my chair.

“It’s a … ,” she began to say.

“What, no drumroll?” I interrupted.

“It’s a … boy!” she shouted while slapping her hand against the machine.

Once I heard those three words, I tilted my head back a little, looked over at Sarah and smiled. Things immediately felt a little different.

“Wow, I’m going to have a son,” the first thought rolled through my head.

“Finally, someone to watch old school WWF matches with too — grandma will love that,” I also thought to myself.

Our families were equally as thrilled to hear the news. And, now they can start finalizing those purchases in their Amazon carts. 

The idea of having a son is still settling in, and truthfully, I would have been equally as excited to have a little girl. Hopefully the next one. 

It’s been an exciting couple of months planning and preparing. Unfortunately, this will be the last update you receive from me as my last day with the Herald Review is Friday, Feb. 11.

To officially take on the family-man role, I recently accepted a position with a new company in the Grand Rapids area — which is also where my wife and I have been trying, with no luck, to buy a home. 

I leave the Herald Review confident. 

Confident in the stories my team and I have produced over the last two years. Confident that they will continue to share those stories. And confident that the new editor will continue steering the ship in the right direction.

To the residents and readers I’ve had the chance to connect with, thank you.

To all of my sources … your secrets are safe with me.