I expect to receive a couple boxes of Girl Scout cookies sometime soon. I’m pretty sure I placed my order on time.

Recently, however, I learned why I shouldn’t buy Girl Scout cookies despite my years of support for the organization and appreciation for the cookies.

It has nothing to do with sugar, or calories, or “I need another cookie like I need another hole in the head.”

I shouldn’t be buying Girl Scout cookies because according to a nutcase out in Colorado (and apparently a bunch of other people as well) if I buy Girl Scout cookies I’m contributing to the ruin of an entire generation of girls.

Turns out, Girl Scouts is destroying American girlhood.

Wow! Who knew?

Kevin Swanson knew ... and knows.

Swanson runs a program called Generations With Vison and is heard on his radio program Generations. Swanson, also is a lay preacher in the Reformation Church out in Castle Rock, Colorado.

Swanson’s goal is “... to present life from the perspective of a biblical worldview and within the framework of a relational model of living. ... There are no professionals on this program. There are no psychiatrists, professional counsellors, bureaucrats, and seminary professors. But you will find fathers, mothers, grandparents, pastors, and friends.”

One of Swanson’s pet peeves is Girl Scouts.

He basically believes Girl Scouts of America is a demonic organization, and Girl Scout cookies are a favorite snack food of Satan.

Swanson lets you know where he stands right out of the gate: “The Girl Scouts is turning into an organization that promotes lesbianism, feminism, abortion, and Planned Parenthood. Is this really something that Christians want to get behind?”

He then draws comparisons between what he calls “the Girl Scout vision” with what he suggests is “a biblical vision for femininity.”

On one of his more recent radio broadcasts he promised he would stay true to his fight against the evil Girl Scouts organization by taking a stand in support of GOOD parents “... who really care about their little girls” and don’t want them “... being lesbians at 24 years of age.”

Swanson claims he has more than 1 million listeners.

I hope not.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I implore you.

We are talking about Girl Scouts. GIRL SCOUTS!!!

Girl Scouts, in their own statement of purpose, note “In Girl Scouts, girls discover the fun, friendship, and power of girls together. Through a myriad of enriching experiences, such as extraordinary field trips, sports skill-building clinics, community service projects, cultural exchanges, and environmental stewardships, girls grow courageous and strong.

“Girl Scouting helps girls develop their full individual potential; relate to others with increasing understanding, skill, and respect; develop values to guide their actions and provide the foundation for sound decision-making; and contribute to the improvement of society through their abilities, leadership skills, and cooperation with others.”

So ... this is a bad thing?

The Girl Scout Mission is, “Girl Scouting builds girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place.”

I repeat ... this is bad?

Let’s look for a moment at the Girl Scout Promise.

“On my honor, I will try:

“To serve God and my country,

“To help people at all times,

“And to live by the Girl Scout Law.”

And what is that law?

“I will do my best to be honest and fair, friendly and helpful, considerate and caring, courageous and strong, and responsible for what I say and do, and to respect myself and others, respect authority, use resources wisely, make the world a better place, and be a sister to every Girl Scout.”

So what is lacking in Swanson’s idea of “a biblical vision for femininity”?

Submission? To a husband?

Welllllllll ... I know I’m just a bleeding heart liberal columnist, but I would rather raise a daughter (and I did) who has “... courage, confidence, and character, who makes the world a better place” than a daughter whose whole purpose in life is to submit to her husband.

I would rather see a generation of girls who try their best “... to be honest and fair, friendly and helpful, considerate and caring, courageous and strong, and responsible for what I say and do, and to respect myself and others, respect authority, use resources wisely ...” than a girl whose sole idea of fulfillment is a falsely manufactured “... biblical vision for femininity.”

Swanson’s view of Girl Scouts is frankly horrifying, and not too far removed from the view that frightens so many people in this country with regard to other cultures and religions.

And to even imagine that Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs, and Trefoils are ruining a generation of girls is simply beyond stupid.

It’s sick.

Hey! Keep your hands off my Thin Mints.