JIM CREES: Diapers and toilet seats: Thanks!

Welllll ...no politics this week.

Seriously. No politics.

Rather, a few comments on Common Decency.

While driving to work the other morning, I made a turn onto 85th Avenue just south of Chippewa Lake Road.

About a half mile down the road I ran into a snow drift-sized pile of ...diapers.

Used diapers. Dirty diapers.

Diapers spread all over the roadway and being spread even further by every car that came over the rise and smacked into the ‘drift.’


Me? I pulled over, got out, and counted the number of still-intact diapers. (No. I did not do my civic duty and pick them up. Sorry. Not dirty diapers. I don’t generally carry rubber gloves or plastic garbage bags in my car.)

There were three dozen-plus dirty diapers dumped on the road.

OK. Let me address this to the jerk who dumped the diapers on 85th.

Dear Jerk,

Here’s the deal. You packed a bag of dirty diapers in your car ...for whatever odd reason.

Maybe you meant to take them to grandpa’s house to dump them in his garbage. I don’t know.

You might have started out with good intentions, but ...

You have to be stupid to have three dozen diapers sitting next to you in the front seat.

Seriously? You couldn’t put ‘em in the trunk?

OK. I understand things got pretty ripe in the car. Pretty ripe, indeed.

Listen, even the sweetest baby can churn out some pretty impressive poop.

But Mr. Jerk, (or Ms. Jerk for that matter), just dumping a huge, industrial strength pile of diapers on the road is really a crappy thing to do, (no pun intended.)

I mean, it’s bad enough we need to put up with your McDonalds refuse, your beer cans, and your various bottles filled with God knows what.

It’s bad enough we need to drive down our highways and byways and see your garbage wafting across field and stream.

But diapers??!!?? Dozens and dozens of diapers?

Is there even some vaguely reasonable explanation for this monster pile of neatly rolled diapers in the middle of the road? Or are you just stupid?

Unfortunately, I guess I need to opt for the latter, ‘cause I’ve seen examples of your handiwork, (and that of others like you), in the past.

Bottles filled with urine. Huge piles of poached deer entrails. Fish dumped miles from the nearest body of water, (they didn’t fly there!), and more, and more, and more.

Dear Jerk,

This is where we live. “We” as in all the people who wouldn’t dream of chucking a plastic bag filled with diapers, (or anything else for that matter), out the passenger side window of the car.

“We” live here, and you force us to drive through your mounds of crap and offal on a far too regular basis.

I’m tired of your inconsiderate behavior and your disrespect of me, my friends and neighbors, and the extended ‘neighborhood’ in which we live.

For the love of ...whatever. Try, just try, being decent and respectful of your surroundings.

At least try.

And then ...

While standing with my grandson this past weekend watching the Muskegon River go by, his attention was drawn to a toilet seat floating down the river.

A toilet seat.

Are you kidding me?

Not a watermelon peel. Not a beer can that ‘got away’ from its owner. Not a bit of yard waste washed into the river by spring flooding.

A toilet seat.

This took some effort.

Somebody up stream actually made the effort and tossed this item into the river.

Generally speaking, a toilet seat is not the kind of object that would be inadvertently dropped into the Muskegon.

I can’t imagine a kayaker having a toilet seat slip away during a morning trip downstream.

It’s not like somebody walking along the bank suddenly dropped their toilet seat and it floated away before they could grab a rake to scoop it out.

It’s a toilet seat!

I get so exhaustingly tired seeing the crap people chuck into the river float pass my house.

People simply don’t believe when I catalog some of the stuff that has drifted by.

Do you people not know there are any number of opportunities for garbage pickups in this area - throughout Osceola and Mecosta counties?

Almost every township has some form of large garbage pick up day once or twice a year.

There really is no need to toss your garbage and refuse in MY river.

For the love of everything you and I both hold holy...is there really any reason in the world a toilet seat should be floating down the river?

Did the Titanic sink upstream?

It’s so frustrating.

Dirty diapers and toilet seats.

This is how we show pride in our natural resources.