JIM CREES: CPAC and poetic license

The crowd went wild ...again, and again, and again.

As the audiences at the 2014 edition of CPAC (the Conservative Political Action Conference), were introduced to the latest and greatest darlings of the new conservative movement, they went wild.

On the list were all sort of political movers and shakers - including a few presidential hopefuls.

Jenny Beth Martin, head of the Tea Party Patriots, was there.

The highest-ranking Republican in Washington, House Speaker John Boehner, was not. Boehner has fallen WAY out of favor with the growingly extreme right of the CPAC crowd.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie had a chance to speak even though he isn’t exactly a party favorite, (or maybe he is again this week. It kinda depends on the weather.)

Sen. Ted Cruz got things fired up at the kick-off. He just keeps sounding goofier and goofier and simply supplies more and more material to late night TV comics, but the CPAC crowd love him.

Rand Paul was there too. They sure do love the libertarian guys at CPAC gatherings. Folks loved his daddy, and they love him, (although they should really pay more attention to what he is saying ...and what he isn’t saying.)

Mitt Romney and John McCain weren’t there. They apparently are too “moderate.”

Phyllis Schlafly and Ralph Reed were at the 2014 CPAC, as was Newt Gingrich. I’m sorry, but all three seem to get sillier as they get older.

There was a lot of fawning over Donald Trump.


And Ann Coulter got people all wound up. It is absolutely astonishing that people actually take her seriously ...in public and openly as well! She really is the conservative version of Paris Hilton. Pretty. Blond. And vacuous.

The amazing thing is that there was absolutely no attempt by CPAC attendees to even vaguely adapt to the times - or at least political realities.

With more, and more, and more, of the country - including Republican voters - leaning ever so much more convincingly to the center, the CPAC crowd just keep pulling further and further to the extreme right.

And politicians (who really should know better) continue to think they need the CPAC imprimatur to succeed in the future, despite every evidence that extreme views by both the right and the left are becoming more and more unpopular with a voting public that is tired of the partisan silliness in Washington and beyond.

People around this country want this nation to get on track, and voters are slowly but surely realizing the leadership presently afforded us by both Dems and the GOP is not getting the job down, and won’t get the job done for the foreseeable future.

There was, however, one highlight of the CPAC conference - Sarah Palin’s nod to Dr. Seuss’s famous “Green Eggs and Ham.”

Sarah read:

I do not like this Uncle Sam.

I do not like his healthcare scam.

I do not like these dirty crooks

Or how they lie and cook the books.

I do not like when Congress steals.

I do not like their crony deals.

I do not like this spying, man.

I do not like ‘Oh, yes we can.’

I do not like this spending spree.

We’re smart, we know there’s nothing free.

I do not like reporters’ smug replies

When I complain about their lies.

I do not like this kind of hope,

And we won’t take it, nope, nope, nope.

Not bad. But ...

Allow me to offer a reply to Sarah and her CPAC fans.

I’m sure I won’t have nearly as appreciative an audience as Gov. Palin had, but I’ll give it a try anyway.

Here goes ...

Ms. Palin tried to rile the crowd

They clapped and shouted out so loud.

How strange it is they buy her slop,

And still would like her at the top.

She thinks healthcare is quite a scam.

So Sarah hates her Uncle Sam???

And if we’re talking “cooking books”

She best beware of her own crooks.

She worries that the Congress steals.

She worries about the crony deals.

But Sarah needs to realize

Her party’s goal to paralyze.

She hates the Dems spending sprees,

But the GOP buys her clothes and accessories.

($150,000 worth!)

Reporters’ comments make her worry,

She doesn’t read - so why the fury?

Yet folks cry out for “Sarah Palin!”

A sure sign CPAC is slowly failin’

Now, one more thing I have to write,

Before I end and say “Goodnight.”

Sarah, your poetry is quite obtuse

So keep your mitts off Dr. Seuss!