I’m excited. Really excited. I thought I’d be wasting a lot of time figuring out who to vote for in 2012, but now I apparently don’t need to wrack my brain too much. God has made His choice, and I certainly don’t want to mess with God. Once again, God is going Republican. (NB: For the rest of this column, I’ll stick to the masculine tag for God. It’s simply common usage. It doesn’t imply anything.) So ... God has cast His vote early. He’s chosen, (or “called” and we say in evangelical-speak), Michelle Bachmann. That’s a bit of a concern for me considering I wrote a column a while back that pretty much called into question Rep. Bachmann’s sanity. But I’m not going to question God. Bachmann says she got “The Call”, and that’s that. Last year, well before she ever announced her candidacy, Bachmann told World Net Daily, (a religious news organization) that she would only consider a presidential bid and campaign if God told her to do so. “I will not seek a higher office if God is not calling me to do it,” she said. “If I am called to serve in that realm I would serve, but if I am not called, I wouldn’t do it.” Later, not too long ago this year, Bachmann repeated her willingness to answer “The Call” in an interview on CBS. She told Bob Shieffer, she had received a “... sense of assurance” from God regarding her candidacy. That’s good enough for me. I probably wouldn’t usually vote for someone like Bachmann. She scares the poop out of me. But … she has gotten “The Call.” It’s not the first time God has had a direct chat with Bachmann. Back in 2006, Bachmann said God had called her to the political limelight. “God then called me to run for the United States Congress.” she said. Later she added that she and her hubby “… took three days, and we fasted and we prayed. And we said “Lord, is this what you want, are You sure? Is this Your will?” And after, along about the afternoon of day two, He made that calling sure.” Wow! I’m impressed. If I took three days off work, I’d probably be painting the house. She’s chit-chatting with God. Bachmann is serious stuff. So, if God is backing her, I’m on her side. Then ... Rick Perry, governor of Texas, says HE got God’s OK to run. What the heck??!!?? He hasn’t actually announced his run just yet, but Perry is heavy on the hinting. “I’m not ready to tell you that I’m ready to announce that I’m in,” Perry said in a recent interview with the Des Moines Register. “But I’m getting more and more comfortable every day that this is what I’ve been called to do. This is what America needs.” He’s “been called” too? Does God understand the basics of Civics 101. There can only be one president in these United States. You gotta pick one. So ... now I have to figure out who God is supporting — Perry or Bachmann? Wait a second. Herman Cain says he’s “called” too! That is to say, Rev. Herman Cain. He is ordained doncha know — an associate minister at Antioch Baptist Church North in Atlanta, Georgia. I wonder if that gives him an “in” with The Boss? So now Bachmann, Perry, and Cain have all received “The Call.” I suppose I’d better check, there may be others. This is ever so confusing. I thought Bachmann was a shoe-in when I read she had the Heavenly Father’s imprimatur. She had the divine Seal of Approval, and then these other guys show up and get in line. I suppose I should have known. The GOP has a long-standing arrangement with God. They have him on their side — Lord of Lords, Prince of Peace, GOP Lobbyist for the Many Mansions District. God has very publicly directed the game plans of Sarah Palin, Arizona senate candidate Sharron Angle, George Bush, Norm Colman, and others During her run against Sen. Harry Reed, Angle told reporters: “ I believe that God has been in this from the beginning and because of that, when he has a plan and purpose for your life and you fit into that what he calls you to, he’s always equipped people.” Palin very openly told reporters she firmly believed that John McCain had chosen her as his running mate because of “God’s plan.” When he ran for the U.S. Senate, incumbent Norm Colman told a radio talk show program “‘God wants me to serve.’” Now it gets confusing. Despite “The Call”, Angle, Palin, and Colman all lost, (In fact, Colman lost to a Jewish comedian — Al Franken.) My head is starting to spin. I thought God, being Omnipotent, Omniscient, and Omnipresent, would be a little more decisive. Let one of these folks know — FOR SURE. I mean seriously, if I do vote for Bachmann, and God actually has “Called” Perry, am I sinning? If Bachmann has received “The Call” from God, but I vote for Herman Cain, am I risking Divine wrath? As I said, I don’t want to mess with God, but the GOP is making things really difficult for me.